To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
/// from Janna, my favorite 17-year old cousin
Friday, April 23, 2010
/// risk nothing
/// from Janna, my favorite 17-year old cousin
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
/// lördag natt söndag morgon
may stockholm sparkling saturday nights and sunday mornings live forever.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
/// berlin calling i am answering!
Dear friends,
I am here. Berlin, the superstar city we've heard so much about. I see it all the time: the sparkle on people's eyes whenever they talk about it. There is this buzz, this strange wonderful mystery, and every time, always good things about it. I have always had reservations and never really paid much attention and never visited. But it was there on the horizon of my mind, and suddenly I found myself being drawn to it.
Without reading about it and with nothing but these whispers of greatness in my pocket (and the knowledge that my best friend is on the other side waiting), my pink suitcase, some Ja! cookies and a bottle of Coke, I jumped on a Mittfahrgelegenheit car with three strangers and raced with the dusk along the Autobahn to Berlin. The scenery along the way was like a Caspar Freidrich painting. I dozed off and I left it to fate and to the invaluable element of...
SURPRISE!
And oh my. It's true what everyone says you know? Berlin is great.
I woke up to my first view of the city: a long highway with tunnels and yellow lights and tall trees and woods! And highway business hotels and a conference building. And then slowly, slowly, the makings of a city: apartments and U-Bahn signs, people crossing and kebab stores. And then Hermannplatz where two friends waited for me at a McDonald's screaming and hugging and jumping! One of the greatest things in life truly: someone waiting for you on the other side with a big warm welcome hug, ready to help you carry the luggage containing your whole life.
And then an Indian take away store, and then Kreuzberg with a room full of Swedes lounging on couches with their Macbooks and dark-rimmed glasses. There were two boys who looked exactly the same but it never hit me that they were twins, I even had to ask! Haha! Words of wisdom and gold coins and hard times and true love flying out the window. "But shouldn't that make you stay together, make the love more stronger? Because it's tough times?" The twin sitting next to me answered with a smirk, "Well no. Nowadays, people are only looking for fun times." And it hit me, how raw and true and mean it was. And you always said that to me in an endearing way. "I was only looking for fun times." Well good luck to you and your beach bum career and your free flowing life. I hope one day you will fall in love like I did with you and I hope it shatters your heart completely. And you'll know.
But oh! Today was an adventure. I met one of my best friends again after a long time of separation (three weeks haha). In the middle of Alexanderplatz with multiple Dunkin' Donuts and O2s and zigzagging trams, I jumped straight into Martin's arms! It was great. Burritos and COS and the steps outside the Volkstheater. Prenzlauerberg and rescuing him from a bad conscience, and "Whatever you decide, I will help you".
The adventure to Warschauer Tor and meeting Paul and seeing the East Wall and sitting in the sun talking about the sea. And sitting outside Cafe Sophia and eating sunflower seeds and tea.
And Lost in Translation and wondering how everything is at the other side of the world. Are there cherry blossoms where you are walking alone? Are you listening to "Sometimes"? Do you think of me?
And dreams. I've been having dreams dreams and dreams almost everyday, ever since I came back to Germany. Dreams of seasides ("How nice, the seaside"), dreams of the first time you held my hand, dreams of Instax minis on the floor and Radiohead and "Come here!"
It's too early to tell, and my heart is already taken by the city up north, but you know what? I'm giving it a chance. There is only room for more love and in my heart, I think there's room enough for two cities. Nothing lost, but something to add. Berlin, be kind because people up North and all over the world will get back at you if you do mean things to me! :) I know you will be tough but also please try to be sweet, let the sun shine and give me Euros!
The German Love Gang is on its way! We are going to make this happen! I am going to make this happen. One day at a time, with my best friend beside me, with just enough foresight, and with incredible amounts of trust that things will, just-you-wait, fall into place. I am going to make this happen with love and with you, you who's reading this now at this very moment, wherever you may be. Portland, Oslo, Gothenburg, Hamburg, Lund, Goettingen, California, Manila, Bilbao, Leeds or Stockholm... don't you see now? You have a home wherever you are, you have boxes in attics and basements. And wherever you find yourself there are people who love and will love you. And you will love them. And you will see it all happen again. Be ready.
Greetings from the city of fallen walls,
A
I am here. Berlin, the superstar city we've heard so much about. I see it all the time: the sparkle on people's eyes whenever they talk about it. There is this buzz, this strange wonderful mystery, and every time, always good things about it. I have always had reservations and never really paid much attention and never visited. But it was there on the horizon of my mind, and suddenly I found myself being drawn to it.
Without reading about it and with nothing but these whispers of greatness in my pocket (and the knowledge that my best friend is on the other side waiting), my pink suitcase, some Ja! cookies and a bottle of Coke, I jumped on a Mittfahrgelegenheit car with three strangers and raced with the dusk along the Autobahn to Berlin. The scenery along the way was like a Caspar Freidrich painting. I dozed off and I left it to fate and to the invaluable element of...
SURPRISE!
And oh my. It's true what everyone says you know? Berlin is great.
I woke up to my first view of the city: a long highway with tunnels and yellow lights and tall trees and woods! And highway business hotels and a conference building. And then slowly, slowly, the makings of a city: apartments and U-Bahn signs, people crossing and kebab stores. And then Hermannplatz where two friends waited for me at a McDonald's screaming and hugging and jumping! One of the greatest things in life truly: someone waiting for you on the other side with a big warm welcome hug, ready to help you carry the luggage containing your whole life.
And then an Indian take away store, and then Kreuzberg with a room full of Swedes lounging on couches with their Macbooks and dark-rimmed glasses. There were two boys who looked exactly the same but it never hit me that they were twins, I even had to ask! Haha! Words of wisdom and gold coins and hard times and true love flying out the window. "But shouldn't that make you stay together, make the love more stronger? Because it's tough times?" The twin sitting next to me answered with a smirk, "Well no. Nowadays, people are only looking for fun times." And it hit me, how raw and true and mean it was. And you always said that to me in an endearing way. "I was only looking for fun times." Well good luck to you and your beach bum career and your free flowing life. I hope one day you will fall in love like I did with you and I hope it shatters your heart completely. And you'll know.
But oh! Today was an adventure. I met one of my best friends again after a long time of separation (three weeks haha). In the middle of Alexanderplatz with multiple Dunkin' Donuts and O2s and zigzagging trams, I jumped straight into Martin's arms! It was great. Burritos and COS and the steps outside the Volkstheater. Prenzlauerberg and rescuing him from a bad conscience, and "Whatever you decide, I will help you".
The adventure to Warschauer Tor and meeting Paul and seeing the East Wall and sitting in the sun talking about the sea. And sitting outside Cafe Sophia and eating sunflower seeds and tea.
And Lost in Translation and wondering how everything is at the other side of the world. Are there cherry blossoms where you are walking alone? Are you listening to "Sometimes"? Do you think of me?
And dreams. I've been having dreams dreams and dreams almost everyday, ever since I came back to Germany. Dreams of seasides ("How nice, the seaside"), dreams of the first time you held my hand, dreams of Instax minis on the floor and Radiohead and "Come here!"
It's too early to tell, and my heart is already taken by the city up north, but you know what? I'm giving it a chance. There is only room for more love and in my heart, I think there's room enough for two cities. Nothing lost, but something to add. Berlin, be kind because people up North and all over the world will get back at you if you do mean things to me! :) I know you will be tough but also please try to be sweet, let the sun shine and give me Euros!
The German Love Gang is on its way! We are going to make this happen! I am going to make this happen. One day at a time, with my best friend beside me, with just enough foresight, and with incredible amounts of trust that things will, just-you-wait, fall into place. I am going to make this happen with love and with you, you who's reading this now at this very moment, wherever you may be. Portland, Oslo, Gothenburg, Hamburg, Lund, Goettingen, California, Manila, Bilbao, Leeds or Stockholm... don't you see now? You have a home wherever you are, you have boxes in attics and basements. And wherever you find yourself there are people who love and will love you. And you will love them. And you will see it all happen again. Be ready.
Greetings from the city of fallen walls,
A
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