/// right here

Climb aboard my pony
Now you’ve been thrown.
Get back in the saddle
And let it be known
That you’re made of steel.
Don’t you think that
For once in your life
He should be made to feel?

/// luck wish

11:39Angel
hej hamdy!
im sleeping soon! just saw you pop up my chat window
so good night!

11:39pmHamdy
hello !

11:39pmAngel
i wish i dream of stacked cats!!!
my thesis is due thurs

11:39pmHamdy
have a good night of a dream ...!

11:39pmAngel
can you believe it???

11:40pmHamdy
do a good work :))))))

11:40pmAngel
so i have to sleep and dream of nice words for my preface
wish me luck hamdy!!!

11:41pmHamdy
i will tell trickster djinn celalluddin to prepare a luck wish
i will pass to him three dishes of flan to supress his hunger for one evening so he may concentrate

11:41pmAngel
oh wow thats great!!!
would really appreciate it hamdy!
BIG HUGS!
i look forward to waking up to your luck wish!

11:42pmHamdy
good luck !

/// my feelings still remain

It's my direction, it's my proposal
It's so hard, it's leading me astray
My obsession, it's my creation
You'll understand, it's not important now

All I need is co-ordination
I can't imagine, my destination
My intention, ask my opinion
But no excuse, my feelings still remain

My feelings still remain

/// peaking lights

The perfect soundtrack to walking in mysterious places, haunted neighborhoods, lost river banks, and bike rides at night

i say, the perfect soundtrack to different dimensions, cosmic twins with the same initials, walking together in southern Stockholm suburbs, white wine and red curtains, don't be so scared and gay porn dreams, am i so transparent and feelings everywhere, waiting in subway stations for the last train to come.

/// i want to come closer

/// goosebumps and thrills and love that is coming. ///

/// cafe valand 9 am

the now now now: early morning, odengatan. i can't believe how truly beautiful this place is, this city. the sun is shining, against face, hands, smiles. the snow on the ground. and the snow IN THE AIR. thin, delicate slices of glitter flittering and flying over around everyone. it glitters, it shines, it never ends, over and over, over and over. against the yellow-ochre apartment buildings, falling gently on the heads of people passing by on their way to work, starting their day, outside the window. there. THERE IT IS.

the now now now: these epic days where days fly by filled with the most intense of emotions: the immense outpouring of love, stabbing jealousy and hate, the quest for justice, uncontrollable laughter, throwing surprise parties and days that magically fall into place, 3 a.m. after parties, lust. and the quiet moments: sitting in studentpalatset typing away on my thesis, watching people go by, cheap monday jeans and white shirts. always waiting for the fika breaks. frozen dinners and our favorite candies. the "see you tomorrows" that i hope will never end. phone calls and "are you in KTH? do you want to have lunch?'s". a late night walk in s:t eriksgatan, not wanting to leave, the air filled with unsaid words.

my sweet and boring best friend. my aphex twin. a boy called love.

bitterness is a bird perched outside my window, but it will not touch me. days fly in and fly out and always, this fear of leaving and empty rooms, but we have been here before haven't we? don't be such a crybaby. why don't we try free falling?

the now now now. these are the epic days that someday i will tell my grandchildren about: "when i was young, i lived in stockholm." truly LIVED. and yes, i will have grandchildren, meaning i will have children, meaning i will meet the love of my life. these are the days that will be in the stories that i will tell over and over again for the rest of my life: and it is happening right NOW.

out the door and on to studentpalatset! tear a moment from the days that carry us on forever.

/// aphex twin - girl/boy song

/// I can hear both you and me in it. Can you? ///