/// cafe valand 9 am

the now now now: early morning, odengatan. i can't believe how truly beautiful this place is, this city. the sun is shining, against face, hands, smiles. the snow on the ground. and the snow IN THE AIR. thin, delicate slices of glitter flittering and flying over around everyone. it glitters, it shines, it never ends, over and over, over and over. against the yellow-ochre apartment buildings, falling gently on the heads of people passing by on their way to work, starting their day, outside the window. there. THERE IT IS.

the now now now: these epic days where days fly by filled with the most intense of emotions: the immense outpouring of love, stabbing jealousy and hate, the quest for justice, uncontrollable laughter, throwing surprise parties and days that magically fall into place, 3 a.m. after parties, lust. and the quiet moments: sitting in studentpalatset typing away on my thesis, watching people go by, cheap monday jeans and white shirts. always waiting for the fika breaks. frozen dinners and our favorite candies. the "see you tomorrows" that i hope will never end. phone calls and "are you in KTH? do you want to have lunch?'s". a late night walk in s:t eriksgatan, not wanting to leave, the air filled with unsaid words.

my sweet and boring best friend. my aphex twin. a boy called love.

bitterness is a bird perched outside my window, but it will not touch me. days fly in and fly out and always, this fear of leaving and empty rooms, but we have been here before haven't we? don't be such a crybaby. why don't we try free falling?

the now now now. these are the epic days that someday i will tell my grandchildren about: "when i was young, i lived in stockholm." truly LIVED. and yes, i will have grandchildren, meaning i will have children, meaning i will meet the love of my life. these are the days that will be in the stories that i will tell over and over again for the rest of my life: and it is happening right NOW.

out the door and on to studentpalatset! tear a moment from the days that carry us on forever.