/// Adventures of AT and AT p.102973

/// Andy was eating something plastic at the Karaoke dance floor of a cruise ship in the middle of the Baltic Sea.  It was blinking red lights through his skin. ///

/// deluxe

This is what we usually do when we're together. Monggies!

Maräng Swiss over Smarties! Deluxe! How was your week recap, candies, ripped off shirts and fears of the ambassador, tears over dreams coming true, so sentimental, annoying (him) and repeating (me), mix tapes, Mc Donald's twice, cheeseburgers and chickenburgers and sharing a Coke, liberating.

24.06.2010 /// Strömgatan

/// memo: selena notes

persistence
small bump compared to what you have been through before
pag may nagtanong sayo: i'm just taking a break
remember radio dept.: fall into place

/// fanatic

One really cold winter night, E and I were waiting at the KTH library browsing through the ultra hip People magazine. I told him that someday I'm going to be there.

Summer came and TA-DA!!! Fame! Haha!

http://www.afanatic.se/afanatic/Blogg/Poster/2010/6/23_angeltrinidad.html

I love it!

/// me too

A fuzzy, glowing bubble of a midsummer night, dark rooms and questions and feelings in the air. A dark, melancholy, lovely place with Radio Department buzzing in the air and a boy sitting across me quietly writing his paper.

And being half-asleep and late night talks waiting for the sun to blast through the windows.

/// your favorite (tax-free) summer

Cruiseades 2010
The Baltic Sea
06.18-06.19

True and everlasting surprises, korv med bröd, dance machines, dinner buffets, Fun Clubs, tax-free, running in the corridors, cabin after parties, the sea and the sky and forever friends.

Music: Memory Cassette - Asleep at the Party

/// M or the police

"Whenever you have that thought again, call me or call the police."

/// where the wild things are

Today, the String Cafe dream of biking along Södermalm streets finally happened! It wasn't a red bike though, but V's most beautiful green and cream bicycle which I was driving home to him. I started scared like always but found out that there really wasn't anything to be scared of, and that it was actually incredibly easy and absolutely fun. Not only Södermalm, but from home in Telefonplan, cutting across Midsommarkransen's dreamy tree-lined streets, flying by the back alleys near the highway, crossing busy Södertaljevägen, racing down the empty bikelane, and going up and over the bridge to the inner city to reach Södermalm, and Wollmar Yxullsgatan to a very surprised V who was amazed at my speed.

Kitchen table, sun shining: There are many things that will surprise you and make you happy that is still yet to come.  You can also do many things, even if you think you can't.

The longest walk all over Södermalm, elitist schools and mixed emotions, learning Swedish Michel Thomson style, finding Versailles behind Medborgarplatsen, not good at going out, first dates and awkward questions, not having to pour your whole heart out, not having the heart to stop me from buying Snapple, economic but ultra delicious middag shopping at ICA, spaghetti with tomato sauce, mushrooms and basil and lots and lots and lots of parmesan cheese, la familia real, V's inner angst, "crying" at Spike Jonze's dog music video, Lost in Translation, You-tubing, Beastie Boys, the 90s and cool older siblings, spaghetti with egg yellows and butter, vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce, what you said in Mosebacke.

/// put your love to the test

/// paella

I saw that the wine was from Portugal, the Sprite-like sparkling wine with the Marie-Antoinette blue bottle. I remembered E and Norway and that summer house and the elvish fjords. Later on, we watched Heima and I remembered how I dreamt of Iceland with such feverish passion and how I thought it would be so close to Sweden. I remembered Jamie Oliver and London. And all throughout the night, talks of South America. For a split second, that longing to go away to Bilbao or Barcelona or London or Porto or Oslo, far away from incestuous gangs, instability and broken hearts.

It's so easy and so hard at the same time. I am incredibly happy here but I don't know how long that will last. I believe in You, and it brought me tears that moment at Cafe Nero when I couldn't explain it to other people. C.S. Lewis was an apologetic, and that means defending something that you believe in from the side of the one being persecuted or judged. And that means work. If only they can see how you move hearts and how beautiful it is, and that maybe everything now brings us to Narnia in the end, and maybe true love really exists. How can I make you see, how can I move past watchful dragons?

They are so empty inside, how can they love me? How can you not love me?
Feeling this fullness and you, total emptiness, how can it ever be?

V and I read "Är din mamma nobelpristagare?" together, with Clark Gable playing in the background. We bought Coke for you! LCD Soundsystem's "I Can Change" and salad and wine and two kinds of paella. Bullfights and designer bags and Cameron Diaz's Evian facial wash and Sex and the City, Colombia and cosmic Swedish friends of friends getting shot on the face in Brasil and the promise of Iceland. Personummer parties and sambo questions. And extremity and tradition and politeness.

You always have nice shoes. Gentle rain at 1 a.m. and bicycles in the night.

/// Lördag: Barrio Fiesta!!!

/// apparatjik

love.

/// voice mail

first voice mail in the whole world that melted my heart on the third floor of SP. a coup. did you know how i felt or was i was just part of the plan? but i still followed you anyway, and the lunch place reminded me of spanish library cafeterias, and cafe nero was lovely. sitting by the street on those high wooden seats, with a cornetto and americano. always teasing and wrapping me around your finger. "why should that bother you?" don't you know? don't you know in your heart? do i still have to tell you?

/// 06.04 Fredag: Stadion and Skanstull

Things happen because we need them. I am your friend, I am here for you. It's 20,000 people can you believe it? You can understand everything! Carbo loading party, are you going? Are you going now? One knot for luck. A lucky charm.

///

I made it to Sweden's history and heart: I am now on a Swedish family's refrigerator among Bella's family pictures.

/// 06.03 Torsdag: All dogs go to Djurgården

/// 05.19 vädersoltavlan

/// tanlines

i am in the middle of an incredibly happy day (lifetime). everyone can feel it too. everyone's listening to tanline's real life, and we know. it's happening right now. ran into viktor at slussen while i was giggling to myself while texting andy a really funny text in svenska. viki can feel something in the air too, and was just happy. we listened to real life two times, standing on the metro on the way to odenplan. i went to obsan and saw martin sitting there next to andreas, eating his boxed lunch like an ordinary day. i ran and rolled on the grass and hugged him tight. what do you know? the master supriser was surprised today!

the three of us. "this is the life," andy mused gazing out from our spot on the slope, drinking his coke. "it's good to be back, it's beautiful," said martin. and then andy replied "i know what you mean when coming back here. when i came back from tokyo i had a moment at 5 am in my balcony, just looking out to the city. i understand now: "this is why angel loves sweden.""

and wait till you hear of how my weekend has been! epic post coming up soon! and wait till you hear of how this weekend will be! haha!

and its just the beginning! pure happiness, we meet again.

/// 05.30 sickla udde

...so make it always burn with the hardest flame!

/// text messages to andy p.1

Im sitting across the cullen vampire brothers top floor sp corridor! Hahaha :D