/// saint simon

saint simon makes a lot of noise wherever he goes. the moment he steps into a room, the happiness level of everyone else ups by at least +5. at least that's what i feel whenever i'm around him. in corridors and stairways with good echo-acoustics, he would always make this screeching sound, a cross between a bird and a donkey. its hard to explain! maybe you will hear it someday.

one lonely day, we went to portugalete. going up the escalator in moyua metro exit, i saw him standing there waiting for me, making noises with an orange pedestrian cone, shouting my name. it was the start of a great day. and a great friendship.

you know, my first impression of him was that of a know-it-all and someone who is full of himself. well that turned out to be true. haha! ;) but then i realized, he really is saint simon, a nickname that stuck when i gave it to him that lovely day at the park. we were taking a study break, me, him, bas. we listened to the shins, ate from my junk food bag, i did cartwheels. saint simon. 

the last night in olomouc, he held me while i was crying. we both understood what everything meant at that moment: the fleetingness of everything, the beauty of everything, the tragedy, the joy. ten thousand different impressions all at the same time, and our hearts struggling to embrace it all. i guess that's why i feel close to him: our hearts are built the same way, everything comes inside it magnified ten thousand times. 

simon, bas and i. i don't know why, but i've been thinking about them and our days together everyday since we've parted. i always find myself wallowing in memories that feel like something that happened a long time ago. countless sunny days in the park. sparkling nights, crossing the zubizuri bridge after going to residence. sitting on the backseat of the car, listening to them discussing the traffic in dutch, on our way to the beach. and every time i hear a-ha's take on me, i think of us dancing in their living room with the lights off, and me shouting "80s party!!!" (and that's how it started...) the now is still happening, and it doesn't have to end. 

apart or together,  i know that life would never be the same again because i met simon. happy birthday! may you live up to 120, like the real saint, if you like! cheers!

/// the moment when something turned.

"... at that exact moment i knew, something turned, something happened."

both of them were suddenly quiet, sitting still. and the moment just fell into place, the words' meanings fell heavily and lightly upon the room, shivered down our spines and eased themselves within our hearts. it was my last night in bilbao, and they took me to the best place on earth to get vodka cocktails. old men lounging about with their cigars, us three dressed in black, ignoring the fact that tomorrow, we will be apart. a story of a particular golden moment of finding foreheads in the rainall of us were suddenly silent, and just sitting there in the couch, surrounded by old pictures, cocktail drinks, the jazz age, gold, old rose and smoke, the past and the future and the now, now, now.

"do you love him, angel?" joseba asked.

/// mami

it's my mother's birthday tomorrow. but why wait for tomorrow to celebrate? i love you mami! this picture was taken 10 days ago, when it was my own birthday. if my mother was not born, then i wouldn't have been born either. haha ang labo. we went to sm marikina (right after i had my haircut) because we can't go anywhere else because of the coding scheme. she bought me a box of brownies because i was craving for them, and a large red iced tea from tokyo tokyo. i bought her and my brother an apple pie, coffee, and a stack of sylvannas. my brother took the photo.

there's no other like her, i believe. but i guess everyone feels the same way about their mothers. that's the beauty of this world and also living proof that true love exists: we have mothers.

/// nine

/// lighthouse love

/// your favorite two weeks

/// we'll shine like gold in the air of summer.
olomouc, amsterdam and memories of bilbao,
your favorite two weeks.///

/// thinking of a way to get you to stay

you left your black gloves on my table

you left your dark horse in the stable

thinking of a way, to get you to stay

and i promise to fight the wind and wait for you...

i'm an owl with tired eyes

i'm a scarecrow in disguise

we often go out pacing

when all i want to do is stay inside and look out the window...

with you. 

/// i would love to love you.

/// magic and dreams and happy accidents and barcelona and running outside casco viejo to your arms

/// could you run into could you run into could you go and run into me? ///

/// birthday party

i was telling a friend about you, when eggboy suddenly played mbv's sometimes. i sang tonight i have to leave it with shirley in front of everyone. it was joy! once more with feeling sang two radio dept. songs and you rained completely in. outerhope played the opening notes of kings of convenience's homesick and the whole room erupted with melancholy. you and me, me and you. it was magic, and my love for you sparkled all over and across the room. 

LOVE!