/// blissful dream

Last night Jihan woke up while I was dreaming: I laughed out loud and mumbled something really long (two sentences maybe) in a language she couldn't understand (Swedish maybe <3) like I was talking to someone and then I smiled, like I was really happy and then drifted back to sleep. I don't remember anything but must have been a really good dream and I wonder what, or who I was dreaming about...

/// los campeones

when you drop-kick someone you will never win.

andy, marina and i were in hornstull station after the game when we heard a vuvuzela and riotous spanish cheering and singing going on upstairs, coming ever closer to the platform. we made a bet: 4 (marina), 7 (me) and 10 (andy) people. we found ourselves slowly backing away as the sound came closer and closer, louder and louder.  we first saw three guys coming down the steps and then behind them, a whole parade of ecstatic spaniards, facepaint, flags and fantastic cheering and jumping and all. we don't know how many they were, but we ended up cheering and dancing along with them.

one of the three guys sheepishly smiled and waved his little dutch flag at me. i smiled back at him.

and then i ran to catch the train to slussen and joined the winners in their dance parade.

/// candy

Candy.

Blue bubbly fizz, your favorite, my favorite. The coldest winter night at Blackeberg, baking kladdkaka with fudge, birthday parties.

Dolphin marshmallows. The corridors of Studentpalatset.

Swedish fish, for breakfast-dinner, Tanlines and Marie Antoinette.

Lakris-berry soft gum (try it!), the last barbeque at Telefonplan.

Melon jellies that you kept stealing from my hand, from the plastic bag that was being passed around at the Spanish Apartment.

The Thai take away near Studentpalatset, the very first time.

A safe candy-filled bubble that I believed in for the longest time.

/// there is nothing better

He said as we sat on the floor, playing our songs in between snatches of Coke and sweets in candy dishes.
Love cannot heal love, look around you and don't let him ruin your life now.

/// i love you you you you and you.

/// six impossible things

there's a rabbit floating in the sky!
a complete rainbow after the summer rain!
i followed it from arch to arch -
and into the sunset forest fire
the sun blazing on the apartment windows
the blissful balmy rain
and this!
six impossible things before breakfast
here we go.

06.07.2010 On Peak Hill

/// tea party

It's so beautiful it breaks your heart. Suzy said as we sat listening to Rilkean Heart, at the end (the beginning) of a lovely summer night.

Of blue moons and blue lagoons.

Of the sunset view over Sodermalm, chicken and salad and frozen Coke, and fighting bears, ultra understanding powers, cooking and best friends and nothing has to change but ___!

Of jumping in the lake and learning how to swim and doing laps together and finding lost friends in the water.

Of hand games played in the middle of the room with Funny Little Frog playing in the background.

Of Cat/Wolf shirts and Somewhere trailers and tea party impersonations and sparkling Phoenix songs.

Of Cola Heart, BSS, The Video Dept. and Kendal Johansson wifting in the air. And cosmic Said Sadly...

Of whispering and shouting in your ear. Oh you break my heart, you silly boy.

Of plans, plans, plans of more sparkling summer days and nights like this. Of meadows and circus tents, car trips and camping and book clubs and movie nights (starring Leonardo di Caprio).

Of Alice and dreams that are real, of tea parties and friends all around you.

And the day was lovely too. I will be here when you come back, I promise.

Tonight, everything is beautiful it breaks your heart almost. But it doesn't. That is the beauty of it. This kind of love will never break your heart. It can only heal it, make it grow fonder and make you love it even more. And it will only keep on going.

Do you see, where is he? Where is that love? This love that you "believe" in? Where is this?What does he give you? Nothing. Nothing at all.

And do you see what is in front of you now? Do you see who knocks on your doorstep? Do you see that blue eyes, telling you to be careful? Do you see who comes to you and takes you in? Do you see this: candy in crystal jars, teacups and Rilkean hearts? They believe in you.

Forever and always, the now and yet to come. Here's to summer, here's to today, here's to the coming days and to love that is real, that is here, that will never break your heart.



05.07.2010 Rilkean Heart 

/// nybroviken, forever.

/// leaving

I know this feeling all too well.

/// Photo from Phoenix ///

/// summer

trädgården, summer nights. it was the day when we wrote the sista natten song at kniven industries, everything good takes 20 minutes, follow the water felix said and find your way to centralen. the british embassy beer fest with pure happiness floating around the air, laced with danish beer and american chicken wings. two happy scots and AT and S, gathered around in the secret pub. the fuzzy walk under the bridge to tradgarden. and 4 am, nybroviken, the most magical thing ever: "borrowing" a raft with felix and suzie and floating away in the middle of the lake, singing radio dept songs and looking at the blue grey dawn waterskies.

"get your bags angel, we're going on a little trip."