/// your father

i had a dream last night. it was the first time we saw each other again after we broke up. we were at the second floor of my old highschool building, i was so filled with joy. you were sitting against a wall in a highschool deskchair, i called your name and came to you, i held your head and your hair and kissed your cheek and just held you. you went away, always this hesitation present in the air when we are together with other people. my highschool classmates were so happy to see us together and were saying how good we looked together. (but we are not together, but what do they know.) you came back a little later with a group of rowdy boys, being your "hey look at me i'm so great" self.

there was a sofa and we were going to watch a movie on the projector. you cleared the space between us and said "hey don't sit too close!"

i was flabbergasted and told you that i didn't wait this long not to touch you.

then it became serious and you told me that your father is dying with cancer. all the injustices and hate and jealousy in my heart were suddenly drained and i just broke down and started crying because of sadness. you asked me if i could sing for him at his bedside, because that would be the only thing to cure him.

i will sing to your father in a heartbeat, the father you didn't want me to meet because you weren't sure if you loved me enough to introduce me to your parents. i will sing for him to save his life.