/// first day: could you run into could you run into could you run into me?

talking to deck.

some sandwiches.

before one of the most incredible moments of my life.

which is this.

and dancing to my bloody valentine.

/// love like a sunset

i'm still in barcelona, going to bilbao tonight, waiting at the hostel. the past four days has been a whirlwind of the best surprises, cups and cups of coke, meeting music twins, four a.m. taxi rides, eat all you can asian buffet dinners, walking in the sun with raya, the nicest dutch people, my bloody valentine twice, hostels and hotels, missed phone calls, dreaming of someone and thinking less and seeing it grow.

and meeting phoenix, meeting phoenix, meeting phoenix. <3



probably the best show of my life. i'll write about it next time. everything's too much for now! think less and see it grow! like a riot, like a riot oh!

/// I'M FROM (IN) BARCELONA!!!

it was strange being back after 5 years. the airport looked the same, but the streets and everything else felt so new. cosmichappystrangeness! listening to MBV on the aerobus to the city, sun shining. when i saw the starbucks near plaza catalunya, i felt really giddy and excited and hahaha i'm going to make joseba so jealous. it was the first thing that i did on arriving: straight to starbucks and mocha frappucino goodness. after almost 9 months! jezuz it felt so good. now i'm at the hostel. it smells weird here but tomorrow, i'll be at a really really nice hotel which is the SHITZZZ!

what to do what to do until tonight???

i realized during takeoff that i am happy: going here and going back. i can't wait to see my favorite bands. and i can't wait to be back in bilbao again and see you, you and you. and i realized that that's happiness: finding the balance between those two places. the place you're leaving (and returning) and the place you're going to.

/// daylight

/// where are you? procrastinating.

Quiela observes parallels with the Lettres portugaises: love's power to move everybody except for the object of love of the abandoned woman; her constant anguish over her lover's silence, or over some cold, conventional, or commonplace greetings; taking the past as a refuge; making geographical waters a distancing factor between the lovers; realizing that one is writing more for oneself than for the addressee; and the final silence following a farewell promising not to write again. Amongst others, the heartrending laments in Quiela's letter of 7 November 1921, could find their place most comfortably amongst Mariane's laments in the Lettres portugaises:

"Te amo Diego, ahora mismo siento un dolor casi insoportable en el pecho. En la calle, asi me ha sucedido, me golpea tu recuerdo y ya no puedo caminar y algo me duele tanto que tengo que recargarme contra la pared

[I love you Diego, right now I feel an almost unbearable pain in my chest. On the street, it has happened that your memory hits me and I can walk no longer and something hurts so much that I have to lean against the wall]" (Quiela, pp. 13-14).

-Hortensia R. Morell, Crossed Words between the Lines: The Confusion of Voices in the Love Soliloquy of Elena Poniatowska's "Querido Diego, te abraza Quiela"

/// shoegaze and folk meet in the library

days lately in music.

viking moses. early mornings and quiet library days. waiting for break time, sissy coffees and tea.

tiger lou. melancholy sundays and rainy mondays and dinners at fresco.

yo la tengo. waiting and not falling asleep and smiling to myself. gentle hours.

phoenix. perfect happiness in ten songs. my favorite weekend: riding in cars, a coke beach, looking up at the rain, a fuzzy sparkling night.

camera obscura. spent a week in a dusty library, waiting for some words to jump in me, we met by a trick of fate, french navy my sailor. i wanted to control it! but love i couldn't hold it!

my bloody valentine. when you sleep tomorrow, and it won't be long, once in a while, when you make me smile. 

/// your favorite weekend: euskal herria

saturday was the most fun i had in a long, long time. you know, those absolutely perfect days you can have maybe five times a year, the kinds you want to keep in a box and make it last forever. 

perfect days like this always involves a car, good music and the sea. and the greatest people. being shocked at how beautiful mundaka is, and how amazing berri txarrak was! fleet foxes and rabbits. loney dear, vampire weekend and mali music. lord of the rings, kings of numenor beaches with solitary coke houses!!! shedding socks and diving into the cold blue bay of biscay.  taking walks by ringwraith rivers to get dry. looking for painted forests. moyua to bolueta. the greatness that is berri txarrak. vodka sprites and kalimotxo. crazy dancing like there's no tomorrow. trance room and blue lights. residence and canary birds. staying and not saying. looking up at the rain and finding foreheads. 

just when you're about to leave, you fall in love with people. but remember, no good byes! and time, time is your love, time is your love, time is your love says phoenix's lisztomania.  while we're still here, we'll make the most out of it! <3

don't cry, arrate! :)

/// on your favorite weekend

///These days it comes it comes it comes it comes it comes and goes!/// 

/// ADIOS A LA CRISIS! FRESAS 1.98/CAJA!

...says the sign outside the fruit shop! adios a la crisis!!!

hindi na yata ako makakatulog nito haha sobrang excited para bukas, sobrang excited para sa thursday. sabi ni bimbo, parang SM yung Primavera Sound, "WE'VE GOT IT ALL." hahaha! we've got it all, for ME!!!!!!

may aircon na sa bus dito. AIRCON!!! ang sarap grave.

kausap ko si mama sa skype kanina. sabi niya MAY BELLINI'S SA LIKOD NG BAHAY NAMIN!!!!!!!! TANG INA WALA NANG MAS MALAKING MIRACLE PA KAYSA DUN!!! this is the ultimate sign. things are going to get better from now on. 

nahilo ako ng sinabi ni mama yun e. may bellini's sa tapat ng krung thai. grabe. GRAVEHHH. 

nakabili ako ng sensia film for 1.20 euros each! hinord ko lahat hahaha ang lupit! sumeswerte talaga ngayon a!

tapos sa bus stop, may bata na cute mga 2 years old siguro, nagtinginan kami tapos nung malayo na siya nag turn back siya, sabay kami nag babay sa isa't isa. hindi ko alam pero ang ganda talaga ng moment na yun.

gusto ko na magbukas!!!

sige magliligpit na ko ng kwarto! pati magaaral ako, pero wag nalang muna siguro haha.

may sasabihin ako, get ready:

I LOVE BILBAO!

/// "Is it just me, or are you happier lately?"

/// winner! ///

...B said today.

i am happier lately!

things are looking up, the sun is shining more in bilbao, papers and presentations are getting done, whether we believe it or not. 

i won festival tickets to primavera sound! the picture arrate took of me wooooon! i'm going to barcelona to see my bloody valentine and yo la tengo and bands that make my head swirl with surrealityyy!!! gra-ve!

and i've been spending lots of time with the best company ever. i don't know, but there's really something special with friendship. life is really so much better with friends. such a cliche, but really, so true. without ana or ainhoa or arrate or b (and k and l and my mother)... maybe i would've gone home a long time ago. it's like frodo and the ring you know? without samwise gamgee to carry part of the burden, frodo would've fallen into the shitzzz. in case you haven't noticed, may is lord of the rings month!!!

bocatta sandwiches, 2nd and 3rd floor libraries, happiness barometer, Stevie Wonder teachers, there's something in your hair, hey you're having fun studying, participating in foreign policy class (what?), four freedoms goods services labor capital, having lunch out in the sun, subways that are closed everytime, tunargh vs chicken teriyucky, hey you weren't there, slumber parties, spanish wong kar wai, david bowie, labyrinth, fancy old fashioned toys, home cooked food, mothers and fathers, cola cao in the morning, studying at group study room 12 with spanish people learning old english in spanish, the park is actually "el campo", gollum loves gandalf forever, everlasting daises that will grow until the end of time, mellan-kompis, nice basque girls with the coolest basque names, meeting amaia who reminds me of camille, "believe in (long distance) love!", f*cking LLAMA DE UDUN!!! hahaha

they gave me a basque name. alaia. how fitting.

here's to good times, and winning, and getting through things, and miracles, and 2nd floor libraries and friends! skååååååål!

(and it is you.)