09.23.2008 Flughafen

September 23, 2008 07.00
Frankfurt Flughafen Fernbahnhof

I am sitting at the station, waiting for my 08.42 train to Gottingen. This is it, the start of my new life. I still couldn’t feel the gravity of it, I am on my own. But I could feel the fringes of it, that I am at the very beginning, the edge. And it is mighty scary. I miss my mother already.

But I am here now, and I think the only way to go through this is to go through it. Go through the motions of life as J said.

It’s just hard not to know anything about this place and yet I find myself here, waiting for a train to take me to the town that would be home for the next couple of years (actually I will be a European nomad, changing homes for every semester, but Goettingen is like home base). It’s weird not to know any German and yet I am here. But that’s what I am here for right? To live and to learn.

On the plane from Bangkok to Frankfurt I was sitting with a German couple, Joel and Christine. They were nice, taught me a few German phrases and they said they were culture shocked at Bangkok (haha what magnitude of shock would they feel when they go to Manila!?). On the airport, I found them again a couple of times and they helped me look for the long distance trains.

I remembered seeing on take off and landing they automatically reached for each other’s hands. Like magnets. I remembered Bobby Baby’s song, I like the moments in between going to bed and going to sleep, I like riding my bike in the morning, ten minutes of traveling to work. Soon we’ll travel round the world. Hold my hand when we land, don’t let go till we stop.

I remember singing “Ewan” to myself on takeoff and saying farewell to Manila, the most beautiful airplane city-view at night. It feels sad looking out that window, not knowing when I will see it again. And thinking of all the changes that would happen before I see that view again, I shiver when I think of it.

I remember switching to “Pulling Our Weight” because it feels more right. And it comforts me. If there’s a goal, a dream, the most important reason why I am on this plane it is to find love, the kind I’m dreaming of. I’m flying to you, whoever you are. And just thinking of that makes things better already. It makes sense.

The immigration officer said, have a great time!

In a few hours, I will be meeting my flatmate Sebastian. I’m excited! Hmmm Goettingen. Riding bikes, going to school, meeting new friends, trees, parks, hmmm.