sunshine

Yesterday was absolutely crazy and gray-day-sad.

I got into the Frankfurt-Hamburg train for Gottingen, passing forests and forests of evergreen trees. That's the word for it, evergreen. It feels like Hogwarts and Tuck Everlasting and Forks something else altogether between panic and apathy and blank and adventure. In between forests, there are quaint little towns on hilltops, which are breathtaking.

But the skies are grey. I used to be a fan of grey skies, but now I'm not so sure (after seeing the blue summer skies of Sweden and experiencing this wet, autumn day (read on). Hmm, no.) It's cold, it's heavy and it drags your soul on the wet streets.

Anyway, Sebastian met me on the station. He's really nice and a bit shy but we get along well. :-) After unpacking and eating German and Filipino chocolates and skyping with my mother and best friend, we went to buy pillows and sheets and blankets for my bed. On bikes!!! Two kilometers away from where we lived. In the COLD AUTUMN RAIN!!! Jet-lagged, tired and confused and disoriented. Hahaha It was an adventure. He kept looking back and laughing at me because I was too slow and I was cussing and saying really weird things. I dropped on my (new and very pretty) bed and went to sleep right away.

I remember unpacking and looking out my window and saying to myself, "What the hell am I doing here?"

But today was a new day! I woke up and decided that I will make things better. Things will be better. I took a bath, dressed in my most colorful clothes and walked out the door. I went to the university, tried to figure out the Mensa (the student dining hall) system where you would have to queue up to get a ticket (my first German words: Stamm Ein), queue up again up the stairs to get your food from a conveyor belt. I felt like "The New Student" walking in the gigantic cafeteria, finding a place to sit. But just being there reminded me that there is life in this town. Just hearing the buzz and the talk and the sound of students is already a comfort to me. Like the sun, like my favorite song playing in my ipod.

I went to my programme's office and met my coordinator. He's really, really nice, laughs a lot (Germans laugh a lot!) and makes jokes like "This is a silly program, we have nothing to offer you." Haha

I walked to the main pedestrian road. I realize that I love shops and downtowns and just being surrounded by so much life. I guess it comes from living in a big, chaotic city all my life. Yesterday was sadness because everything was so quiet (and maybe I was just really tired and confused and HELLO it was just my first day. Give yourself a break Angelf.) But walking down these streets with H&M and Mc Donald's and neon signs made me feel a little at home. Or the feeling that anywhere could be home. As long as there is an H&M. Hehe

I found myself in St. Jacobikirchen, this amazing Lutheran church in town with pillars of red blue and white diagonals, like the sides of an airmail envelope. They said it was made in the 1400's, when optical illusions were just discovered. I just sat there, thinking, praying. Singing "Jesus, Walk with Me" to myself. Why am I so afraid when he is just there with me? I will never be alone.

And then I met Jonathan from Couchsurfing (best community ever!) at the Uni library and he showed me around town. What would I do without Couchsurfing? He's really nice. We walked around the center, found a fairtrade store with lots of stuff from Philippinen, changed money after failing to find banks that are open (all closed at 16:00 Wednesdays), talked about my love for H&M ("the center of Gottingen and the world"), couchsurfing (and not couchsurfing) at Stockholm, and shopped for groceries. At Wilhelmsplatz I saw a boy with the same Strokes shirt as mine and I wanted to hug him.

And walking home, THE SUN SHINED IN GOTTINGEN. It felt so incredible just seeing the sun's rays. Now I know why Swedes eagerly await summer and now I understand how happy they must be. And maybe what I'm feeling is just a fraction of it. But truly, I felt that things will be better only because the sun shone.

It's so incredible to think that I am at the same time zone as Sweden. And it's just a train ride away, and yet I am here. And how I am giving this place a chance because I really believe that there is a reason why I am here.

It's stupid to give up on something just because you don't know (or too scared) of what will happen. Why don't give it a try and open yourself to the possibility that IT MAY BE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU? Haha Read that, Johan.