/// BEGIN.

18.12.2008

i looked out the airplane window and saw a sign from a financial group advertisement: MAKE IT HAPPEN. it feels good to be back, home. i bought a 25-, coca cola and took the flygbussarna from arlanda to the city. i was listening to jose gonzalez's heartbeats on repeat and my eyes were misting over from all i am seeing and feeling. electric lines, the winter sun slipping between pine trees and fields and low rooftops. it is always a mystery for me, how just one place could make me feel these things. i will love this place forever, i know it.

i met C at coffeecup for the keys. the tree in the middle of centralen was tinkling like a music box. christmas. it was so good to see C again. we had coffee and varm choklad at wayne's, he drew some stuff on my notebook again (as always!), maps and blueprints to roslagsbacken, talked about love and being taken for granted. i thought about how swedes don't really talk about their feelings and if you find yourself becoming a swede's friend, you will be his/her friend for life.

i met F at NK's bookstore where he works. he hasn't changed a bit! he's still lovely, happy old F with his loud, booming voice, pretty hair and bossy demeanor. hahaha :-) i was going to surf his and L's place at skanstull. he made snabb makaroner with ketchup, meatballs and peas. we talked about australia and leaving people and it made me wonder about the love of our lives and why we love them.

then i met L. i opened the door to his own apartment for him. i have long decided that i will be his friend just because he listens to the radio dept. when F told me about him. but i never thought that i will like him this much the moment i met him. i guess there are just people who goes straight to your heart automatically.  we encircled SOFO on my map, talked about postpost. 

that night, i couldn't sleep one bit (well, a few minutes but i dreamt of zombies). i think i know the reason why.