i just got back last night. everything still feels like a dream and the jesus and mary chain's just like honey is playing over and over in my head.
right now i am surrounded by the things of the past two weeks. my passport on the floor. L's comic books and shirt beside the bed. a half-eaten marabou chocolate bar on the desk. talking heads, electric god and tsp cds beside the laptop. my unpacked suitcase with my dirty clothes. cheap monday jeans, monki sweaters. 5 kronor coins, receipts from ICA roslagstull and viking bar. the postcard that i sent to myself last week, a time capsule of new beginnings. amiina, talking heads, the shins and detektivbyrån playing on the background.
there is snow outside and since i've arrived four strangers have smiled at me. i don't feel threatened here anymore. suddenly: things, people, the language doesn't cut as much as before. it seemed like everything has softer edges now. look at what you've done. :) and it's only been a day.
i miss you. i promised not to think of you too much, and i will try. the days will make it better, i guess. years are short but the days are long.
you said i have great things inside of me. now is the time to find out. now is the time to be brave(r).
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