/// ikea autobahn love

christine, her friend scott and i went to ikea kassel today. it was me and christine's first roadtrip in germany. i made a quick mixtape for the car trip, just choosing songs and putting it in shuffle mode before burning the cd:

ikea autobahn love 25.01.2009
everything will change

01 the postal service - clark gable
02 cats on fire - higher grounds
03 stars - look up
04 the radio dept. - where damage isn't already done
05 vampire weekend - a-punk
06 belle and sebastian - the model
07 markus krunegård - se på mig nu, vad tycker du?
08 le futur pompiste - seeds
09 the shins- australia
10 secondhand furniture - nice try sunshine
11 those dancing days - run run
12 belle and sebastian - like dylan in the movies
13 the postal service - brand new colony
14 belle and sebastian - wrapped up in books
15 i'm from barcelona - we're from barcelona
16 markus krunegård - jag är en vampyr
17 i'm from barcelona - the painter
18 el perro del mar - happiness won me over
19 talking heads - this must be the place (naive melody)


and it was magical. the songs were perfect for each moment. (and perfect length too, we played half going there and half going back, ending with "this must be the place" when we returned to gottingen. haha.)

during the postal service's brand new colony it suddenly and finally came, without any effort:
GERMANY.

at that moment, riding at the backseat of a car racing down the autobahn at 180 km/h, i finally understood what this place means to me. i have been giving this place a chance and denying it at the same time ever since i came here. but i realized it was really simple. i am here by fate, so that i will meet these people. i love christine, i love anja, i love claudia, i even love scott even if i have just met him! why am i even trying to force myself to love a place, when it is clearly not the way it is supposed to be. of course it is the people that makes a place worthwhile. why do i always remind myself of the things that i don't like about german culture: rules, criticism, straight lines and stiffness when it is really not what is worth remembering or what the real germany is all about, really. 

germany is:

finding myself in the autobahn for the first time, a big surprise! (is this THE autobahn?!) lovely music, lovely conversations
dancing to mgmt's kids in a small living room, enjoying yourself and taking only what you need from it
anja knocking on my front door the moment when i needed someone the most
the kindness of surpervisors "there are worse things than dutch people getting mad at you. those dutch, eh?"
riding trains to hamburg with christine
watching bang gang from the balcony of prinzen bar, chandeliers and projected lights
listening to fleet foxes with philip, on the train to hanover
crying in coffee shops because of love
whale drawings, filipino chocolates and hugs in the middle of platz der gottinger sieben
claudia and movies and meatballs
felix, his favorite spot in hamburg and sharing secrets and high fives outside am turm
mika and swedish lessons during walks between our classes
moby dick and mr. stein
chocolate croissants and chocolate milk
and finding (and keeping) friends.

it has always been, and will always be about sweden, i know. but that doesn't mean that this experience is not worth anything. it was worth it. germany, you are tough but i have found your heart even if you really made an effort to hide it.

everything will change.

so good bye germany.* i hope we never see each other again. i didn't mean that in a bad way as i have already explained, it's just the way it is when your heart has already been carted away to the north.

*real, technical good bye is on february 26.