/// first day: could you run into could you run into could you run into me?

talking to deck.

some sandwiches.

before one of the most incredible moments of my life.

which is this.

and dancing to my bloody valentine.

/// love like a sunset

i'm still in barcelona, going to bilbao tonight, waiting at the hostel. the past four days has been a whirlwind of the best surprises, cups and cups of coke, meeting music twins, four a.m. taxi rides, eat all you can asian buffet dinners, walking in the sun with raya, the nicest dutch people, my bloody valentine twice, hostels and hotels, missed phone calls, dreaming of someone and thinking less and seeing it grow.

and meeting phoenix, meeting phoenix, meeting phoenix. <3



probably the best show of my life. i'll write about it next time. everything's too much for now! think less and see it grow! like a riot, like a riot oh!

/// I'M FROM (IN) BARCELONA!!!

it was strange being back after 5 years. the airport looked the same, but the streets and everything else felt so new. cosmichappystrangeness! listening to MBV on the aerobus to the city, sun shining. when i saw the starbucks near plaza catalunya, i felt really giddy and excited and hahaha i'm going to make joseba so jealous. it was the first thing that i did on arriving: straight to starbucks and mocha frappucino goodness. after almost 9 months! jezuz it felt so good. now i'm at the hostel. it smells weird here but tomorrow, i'll be at a really really nice hotel which is the SHITZZZ!

what to do what to do until tonight???

i realized during takeoff that i am happy: going here and going back. i can't wait to see my favorite bands. and i can't wait to be back in bilbao again and see you, you and you. and i realized that that's happiness: finding the balance between those two places. the place you're leaving (and returning) and the place you're going to.

/// daylight

/// where are you? procrastinating.

Quiela observes parallels with the Lettres portugaises: love's power to move everybody except for the object of love of the abandoned woman; her constant anguish over her lover's silence, or over some cold, conventional, or commonplace greetings; taking the past as a refuge; making geographical waters a distancing factor between the lovers; realizing that one is writing more for oneself than for the addressee; and the final silence following a farewell promising not to write again. Amongst others, the heartrending laments in Quiela's letter of 7 November 1921, could find their place most comfortably amongst Mariane's laments in the Lettres portugaises:

"Te amo Diego, ahora mismo siento un dolor casi insoportable en el pecho. En la calle, asi me ha sucedido, me golpea tu recuerdo y ya no puedo caminar y algo me duele tanto que tengo que recargarme contra la pared

[I love you Diego, right now I feel an almost unbearable pain in my chest. On the street, it has happened that your memory hits me and I can walk no longer and something hurts so much that I have to lean against the wall]" (Quiela, pp. 13-14).

-Hortensia R. Morell, Crossed Words between the Lines: The Confusion of Voices in the Love Soliloquy of Elena Poniatowska's "Querido Diego, te abraza Quiela"

/// shoegaze and folk meet in the library

days lately in music.

viking moses. early mornings and quiet library days. waiting for break time, sissy coffees and tea.

tiger lou. melancholy sundays and rainy mondays and dinners at fresco.

yo la tengo. waiting and not falling asleep and smiling to myself. gentle hours.

phoenix. perfect happiness in ten songs. my favorite weekend: riding in cars, a coke beach, looking up at the rain, a fuzzy sparkling night.

camera obscura. spent a week in a dusty library, waiting for some words to jump in me, we met by a trick of fate, french navy my sailor. i wanted to control it! but love i couldn't hold it!

my bloody valentine. when you sleep tomorrow, and it won't be long, once in a while, when you make me smile. 

/// your favorite weekend: euskal herria

saturday was the most fun i had in a long, long time. you know, those absolutely perfect days you can have maybe five times a year, the kinds you want to keep in a box and make it last forever. 

perfect days like this always involves a car, good music and the sea. and the greatest people. being shocked at how beautiful mundaka is, and how amazing berri txarrak was! fleet foxes and rabbits. loney dear, vampire weekend and mali music. lord of the rings, kings of numenor beaches with solitary coke houses!!! shedding socks and diving into the cold blue bay of biscay.  taking walks by ringwraith rivers to get dry. looking for painted forests. moyua to bolueta. the greatness that is berri txarrak. vodka sprites and kalimotxo. crazy dancing like there's no tomorrow. trance room and blue lights. residence and canary birds. staying and not saying. looking up at the rain and finding foreheads. 

just when you're about to leave, you fall in love with people. but remember, no good byes! and time, time is your love, time is your love, time is your love says phoenix's lisztomania.  while we're still here, we'll make the most out of it! <3

don't cry, arrate! :)

/// on your favorite weekend

///These days it comes it comes it comes it comes it comes and goes!/// 

/// ADIOS A LA CRISIS! FRESAS 1.98/CAJA!

...says the sign outside the fruit shop! adios a la crisis!!!

hindi na yata ako makakatulog nito haha sobrang excited para bukas, sobrang excited para sa thursday. sabi ni bimbo, parang SM yung Primavera Sound, "WE'VE GOT IT ALL." hahaha! we've got it all, for ME!!!!!!

may aircon na sa bus dito. AIRCON!!! ang sarap grave.

kausap ko si mama sa skype kanina. sabi niya MAY BELLINI'S SA LIKOD NG BAHAY NAMIN!!!!!!!! TANG INA WALA NANG MAS MALAKING MIRACLE PA KAYSA DUN!!! this is the ultimate sign. things are going to get better from now on. 

nahilo ako ng sinabi ni mama yun e. may bellini's sa tapat ng krung thai. grabe. GRAVEHHH. 

nakabili ako ng sensia film for 1.20 euros each! hinord ko lahat hahaha ang lupit! sumeswerte talaga ngayon a!

tapos sa bus stop, may bata na cute mga 2 years old siguro, nagtinginan kami tapos nung malayo na siya nag turn back siya, sabay kami nag babay sa isa't isa. hindi ko alam pero ang ganda talaga ng moment na yun.

gusto ko na magbukas!!!

sige magliligpit na ko ng kwarto! pati magaaral ako, pero wag nalang muna siguro haha.

may sasabihin ako, get ready:

I LOVE BILBAO!

/// "Is it just me, or are you happier lately?"

/// winner! ///

...B said today.

i am happier lately!

things are looking up, the sun is shining more in bilbao, papers and presentations are getting done, whether we believe it or not. 

i won festival tickets to primavera sound! the picture arrate took of me wooooon! i'm going to barcelona to see my bloody valentine and yo la tengo and bands that make my head swirl with surrealityyy!!! gra-ve!

and i've been spending lots of time with the best company ever. i don't know, but there's really something special with friendship. life is really so much better with friends. such a cliche, but really, so true. without ana or ainhoa or arrate or b (and k and l and my mother)... maybe i would've gone home a long time ago. it's like frodo and the ring you know? without samwise gamgee to carry part of the burden, frodo would've fallen into the shitzzz. in case you haven't noticed, may is lord of the rings month!!!

bocatta sandwiches, 2nd and 3rd floor libraries, happiness barometer, Stevie Wonder teachers, there's something in your hair, hey you're having fun studying, participating in foreign policy class (what?), four freedoms goods services labor capital, having lunch out in the sun, subways that are closed everytime, tunargh vs chicken teriyucky, hey you weren't there, slumber parties, spanish wong kar wai, david bowie, labyrinth, fancy old fashioned toys, home cooked food, mothers and fathers, cola cao in the morning, studying at group study room 12 with spanish people learning old english in spanish, the park is actually "el campo", gollum loves gandalf forever, everlasting daises that will grow until the end of time, mellan-kompis, nice basque girls with the coolest basque names, meeting amaia who reminds me of camille, "believe in (long distance) love!", f*cking LLAMA DE UDUN!!! hahaha

they gave me a basque name. alaia. how fitting.

here's to good times, and winning, and getting through things, and miracles, and 2nd floor libraries and friends! skååååååål!

(and it is you.)

/// the last page of b's IP paper :)

/// gandalf and smeagol outside the crai

SOY SIERVO DEL FUEGO SECRETO

ADMINISTRADOR DE LA LLAMA DE ANOR

TU FUEGO OSCURNO ES EN VANO

LLAMA DE UDUNNNNNN!!!

What's the Elvish word for "friend"? MEL-LAN.

What's the Swedish word for "friend"?

 ...
KOM-PIS! 

Hahahahahahahahaha!

/// poem

you're blooming / like the daisies outside the crai / oh beautiful arrate / as lovely as the summer sky

hahahaha!!!

/// i love you so much it hurts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6RSCstdRiw

kahit paulit ulit ko ipost yung video nila sa lahat ng blog ko, walang kupas talaga. parang kahit kailan, hindi magbabago yung feelings ko para sa kanila. ibang klase talaga.

lalo na yung "you're tall like a giraffe" na part parang kuhang kuha kung sino ako, kung san ako nanggaling, yung pre-sweden days, yung paghabol sa mga pangarap, yung pagpunta sa bangkok tapos yung paghahanap sayo. yung pagpunta sa dream hotel, yung paglalakad mag-isa sa sukhumvit, tapos ikaw lang ikaw lang ikaw lang yung nasa isip ko!!! nakita kita sa bangkok, nandun ka, sa dream hotel, sa skytrain, sa lahat ng taong nakasalubong ko.

tapos ngayon parang ang tagal tagal na nun, tapos ang dami nang nangyari, ang dami na nating napagdaanan, pero ganun parin yung nararamdaman ko, wala ka parin.

tapos magkakabagong album na sila ulit GRAVE. meron talaga silang ginagawa sayo na hindi ko maeexplain kahit kailan. kahit ano pang sabihin ko. alam nalang natin yun.

i can't wait for the other miracles that await us.


p.s.

kitsie, medyo corny pero:

WHY ARE YOU LOOKING SO GRA-VE? hahahahahha :)

/// despite of the weather we could learn to make it together

i love this night maligayang bati bea rain and blue dresses making sure to pass the message five times hey you weren't there :( euroculture eurovision night norway and getting bored of 8-10-12 repeats the glamrock guitar of bosnia adobong manok kalderetang baka chopsuey after months ang sarap grave coke and magical czech lemon 20% alcohol drinks sideway glances how can you still eat? there is always room for cookies so you're drinking coke someone took your seat vodafone phone tricks that eat your fingers wide-splayed toes nikon d80s bas and the blowfish the postal service's such great heights mgmt's pieces of what hey do you know that game? thumb wrestling! there's a buzz of electric feel in the air and in the space between us. you can feel it too, can't you?

wave your hands, make it rain, for stars will rise again.

/// san bernardo

///Painting by John Emms portraying St. Bernards as rescue dogs with brandy barrels around their neck. According to legend, the brandy was used to warm the bodies of trapped people in avalanches or snow before help came. ///

The ancestors of the St. Bernard share a history with the Sennenhunds, also called Swiss Mountain Dogs or Swiss Cattle Dogs, the large farm dogsof the farmers and dairymen of the Swiss Alps, which were livestock guardians, herding dogs, and draft dogs as well as hunting dogs, search and rescue dogs and watchdogs. These dogs are thought to be descendants of molosser type dogs brought into the Alps by the ancient Romans, and the St. Bernard is recognized internationally today as one of the Molossoid breeds.^[3]

The earliest written records of the St. Bernard breed are from monks at the hospice at the Great St. Bernard Pass in 1707, with paintings and drawings of the dog dating even earlier.^[4]

The most famous St. Bernard to save people at the pass was Barry (sometimes spelled Berry), who reportedly saved somewhere between 40 and 100 lives. There is a monument to Barry in the Cimetiere des Chiens, and his body was preserved in the Natural History Museum in Berne.^[5]

The classic Saint Bernard looked very different from the St. Bernard of today, because avalanches killed off many of the dogs used for breeding between 1816 and 1818.^[6] Severe weather during this period led to an increased number of avalanches that killed many St. Bernards while performing rescue work.^[7] 

Source: Wikipedia

:( :) :(

heart.

/// days lately

/// found photos

/// cosmic distorted mobile phone photos i forgot to upload. stockholm, april. <3 ///

/// angel by arrate

Arrate wrote about me on her blog, I almost cried. :) 

///

Angel is my favourite cartoon.

She didn’t find strange at all to punch me the first time we met. After realizing that we both were Svenska fans, nothing was strange at all.

When you make her laugh, she puts her hand on her mouth. How couldn’t she! Then she stares at you accusingly, as if you shouldn’t do that (you could earn a punch of her strong fist). But it is easy to make her laugh, actually. She will laugh chirping like a bird, bubbling like a child, gleaming like the sun. Laughing is her natural state.

She has the ability to bump into you wherever you are. It doesn’t matter if it’s Bilbao or Stockholm. She will find you, one way or another. And then jump and celebrate the cosmic moment.

Angel has a powerful sad face. If you say something cruel, her eyes will shift into such a miserable shape that you can’t help trying to reach her and tell her everything will be fine. She gets anxious easily. But she can also feel excited in seconds, evenalmost cry of happiness. It’s hard not to follow her then.

She has taught me useful things. Such as apir, kaibigan, or, most importantly,bangkay. She does not like beer, but she does like cider, especially päron cider, especially when it comes out of Systembolaget bags, which surprisingly enough can travel all the way down from Sweden to Indautxu’s metro station.

Angel loves to keep her moments safe. She records her life and looks ahead towards her dream. She dreams of sweet, boring Swedes, of the beautiful streets of Stockholm, where she left her soul. She will leave soon. But it doesn’t matter.

Angel is my favourite cartoon.

///

/// waiting for you

I'm reminded of something I never knew

Distracted from a little taste
After I was stuck to wait for us
A breath tired of waiting for you
A breath tried and waiting for you

///Field Music - In Context

/// something in the air

something changed yesterday. it was so warm and humid, almost like manila. is it... summer? today it's 23 degrees and it's my first time to go outside in europe with just a sweater on. i've been watching the lord of the rings trilogy for the past few days and yesterday i've finished the return of the king. as gandalf always says, everything comes to pass. even shadow has to give way to light.

/// the filipina basque

/// i'm so proud of arrate! she can say "i really really really love you, corpse. friend. poop." in perfect filipino! ///

/// pop time, tokyo time!

/// hahahahhahahahaha! they died laughing at the first picture: an asian pretending to be asian. mind explosion!!! que fuerte!!!///

/// mina vänner

/// i love these two. bursts of sunshine in bilbao's rainy skies. last night, l-mono at the end of the world, norsk metal, lofts and paron ciders, walking along bilbao's industrial area holding systemet plastic bags, being extremely happy when i heard of the secret plan, kas and vodka, being a funny chinese talk show star, "she is always eating!", bodyguards and friends, sitting in front of the stage and sharing stories, POP TIME!!! joseba and arrate and the crazy asian forever! heart! ///

/// lump sum

/// but you are already happy! ///

/// teacups

tonight, i'm finally going to open the gift i bought myself in stockholm. i fell in love with these black and white filippa k teacups (L has similar ones in katarina bangata). i think it's because i will always associate them with good feelings, white walls and winter nights.  i have them wrapped and i promised myself that i will not open it until i have finished my IP paper. 

and today i did. i couldn't believe it. i have been worrying about this since october, a burden that i have been carrying since then. and all of a sudden, as if someone else has been doing it all through out these past months, it's.. DONE. as simple as that.

and I did it. me. 

TANG INA HAHAHAHA ANG SAYA KO! GRA-VE!!! GRA-VE!!!

it's almost over. one last stride! but tonight, we celebrate the things that are already done. we always have to celebrate. and tonight, we do it with teacups... and vodka. :)

/// today :)