/// nothing lasts, some things last.

http://open.spotify.com/track/6lbUH7dyZdrnmmgiD5upwC

i could live forever in scott joplin's bethena waltz. the piano scene in benjamin button. or listen to it forever, over and over. i remember watching it, the day before valentine's day in katarina bangata, eating ben and jerry's and just listening and sinking myself into golden lights, crisp white sheets and nothing lasts but some things last like this piano solo and... what? what other things last? can i just...
lately i've been in and out of my thoughts and i cannot really grasp anything anymore, it's so overwhelming it scares me. what happens after this? the thin line between independence and loneliness. ice creams and parks and how you need other people to distract yourself from this abyss of... what? and in the end, you really only need one other person, but still you need some one, that one. because how can anyone bear living alone through it all? but some, if not most people are alone! so... how?
and having to order things and give logic and occupy yourself, an occupation... from what? it's days and days and days of filling the void, but it can't be just that? and you shouldn't think so much because you will find yourself thinking of... what?

and i knew from the very beginning that love will save us all. all THIS will mean something, because love exists. there may be a void, an abstract something, nothing in the end, but there is love and that is all that matters, and that is enough, and that will last.

i found the fatal flaw in the logic of love. because what if you found out one day that it isn't enough?

it should be enough. if it isn't then, it isn't love.

or???